i haven't written in a while and it's only because i have NOTHING to report. still job-hunting, to no avail...still sitting here just an anxiety-ridden mess. am unable to accept that bankruptcy now looks all but certain. i've been in contact with 2 different graduate schools today and it's possible that i could be admitted for fall but if money comes in for that, plus living expenses, it won't be until september or october. i will be foreclosed on long before that.
was also told that i may have a job possibility opening up in the fall. it's JUNE! i don't know how to stand it. i don't know how to fix this! i pray everyday for a solution and yet i'm no good at waiting for the answer. i can imagine that working a part-time job for minimum wage may be my new reality but i almost refuse to accept that bankruptcy will be the best thing. as if *i* would know what's best for me! i don't.
my nurse practitioner upped my meds to help with my anxiety and more so my sleep deprivation. now i just feel drugged. it'll take a few days for that to go away. until then i am useless. i feel like i'm trying to run under water.
finally making myself take the car in for an oil change tomorrow. i dread it. i've been putting it off for miles and miles...
grace and peace
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