Friday, June 8, 2012

i'm still...here

i haven't written in a while and it's only because i have NOTHING to report.  still job-hunting, to no avail...still sitting here just an anxiety-ridden mess.  am unable to accept that bankruptcy now looks all but certain.  i've been in contact with 2 different graduate schools today and it's possible that i could be admitted for fall but if money comes in for that, plus living expenses, it won't be until september or october.  i will be foreclosed on long before that.

was also told that i may have a job possibility opening up in the fall.  it's JUNE!  i don't know how to stand it.  i don't know how to fix this!  i pray everyday for a solution and yet i'm no good at waiting for the answer.  i can imagine that working a part-time job for minimum wage may be my new reality but i almost refuse to accept that bankruptcy will be the best thing.  as if *i* would know what's best for me!  i don't.

my nurse practitioner upped my meds to help with my anxiety and more so my sleep deprivation.  now i just feel drugged.  it'll take a few days for that to go away.  until then i am useless.  i feel like i'm trying to run under water. 

finally making myself take the car in for an oil change tomorrow.  i dread it.  i've been putting it off for miles and miles...

grace and peace

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