Thursday, November 21, 2013

7 days and counting...

i am not good at anniversaries.  i overthink them and dread them and remember them to a fault.  today is one week since i buried my grandmother.  today has been beyond sad for me. 
 
i feel the weight of all my recent, and not so recent, losses.  there are plenty to remember and i don't intend to rehash them now.  i just need to acknowledge that i am tired and sad and that i feel like i should be able to call "time out" and keep myself from having to face any more loss.  as we all know, life doesn't work that way even when it seems more than fair to wish for such a thing! 
 
grace and peace

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

is it just me?

i finished a book today and now i get to go through my all-time favorite ritual:
 
first - i write down the name of the book just read on my "books read" list.
 
second - i wander through the house picking up 7 or 8 books i think might be "the one."
 
third -  i read the backs or inside covers of all of them.
 
fourth - i weed out a couple based on similarity to the last book read, subject matter or my general mood.
 
fifth - i consider what i've been thinking about or influenced by that day, e.g. today i saw a college professor of mine so i'm thinking i might choose a book on the civil war, i also talked with a customer about presidential biographies so i might read a kennedy book in my stack in honor of the anniversary we have this week, i've been listening to willie nelson for the last 2 days almost non-stop so i might choose a music biography, the last 3 things i read were all fiction so i might go with non-fiction, etc.
 
i know i can't be the only "book person" who gets ultra-excited about what to read next, right?
 
grace and peace

Monday, November 18, 2013

1917-2013


mildred lehr crownover bradford
 
a week ago today i lost my grandmother:  the world is a little less sweet, a lot less funny and infinitely less righteous!  she was the strongest person i’ve ever known. she lost her mother at 4, moved around from family member to family member as her father worked to support his second wife and his 6 children.  she married and had 5 children of her own – 2 of whom she outlived. it’s not natural to outlive your children but she told me that she just figured that’s the way life was:  young people die before their time and we have to go on.  she outlived my grandfather, her henry, by 17 years.  she helped raise all 7 of her grandchildren and loved her 8 great-grandchildren beyond compare! 

she believed in God above all else and was comforted by His Word and His love to an extent that i will aspire to my entire life.  she could quote scripture as well as she could the children’s rhymes she learned as a child. even in her 96th year she quoted rhymes and poems we had never heard her say.  it was amazing.  she was amazing!

i never visited that she didn’t make me laugh and ask me to “stay all night” with her though i had a home, at times, less than 5 miles away.  she loved peanuts and chocolate and peanuts covered in chocolate more than any food save potato chips.  she sang hymns while she cooked, did dishes, ironed the sheets, etc.  if she had never done anything to remember except the way she treated daddy it would be enough.  She never ate a meal that she didn’t say, “did buddy (joe) get enough to eat?,”  he was never out of her sight that she didn’t wonder, “where’s buddy?”  “is buddy here?”  “did buddy leave?”  he didn’t.  he was there for the last 15 years of her life.  he was with her as she took her last breath.  and he was by my side as i cried and cried and cried. 

i will miss her all my life.  she was the world to me. i praise God for her 96 faithful years. 

grace and peace