just can't help but write about an interaction i had with a lady in the bookstore today. she was talking to her friend and me about a trip she took and the friend asked, "when?" she responded, "the same time as the nashville flood. when was that?" i said, "may, 2010" and she looked at me like i had 2 heads. i said, "i lost everything in that flood." she then looked at me with pity and said, "at least you were able to rebuild."
now, how she knew i was able to rebuild and why she thought it was okay to assume such a thing is baffling. i said, "it's only stuff, right?" she quickly agreed and then sensed i was being facetious and added, "i'm sure it's more involved than that." i replied, "if only it were as easy as replacing things." she quickly went on with her story and talked about a few books, etc.
after she left i realized i was angry. i've mentioned ad nauseam that the physical things aren't the hard things to replace. i've not mourned one tangible thing i lost in the flood. the things i mourn are intangible: my safety, my sanity, my very self.
the point of this post is a reminder that words matter! please, if someone you know is going through something: something big, something small, something you've endured, something you find unimportant, please think before you speak! the clichés: "i know how you feel", "it's only stuff", "it'll get better", "you'll be fine", "they're in a better place" are unnecessary, unfeeling and sometimes downright untrue.
if you don't know what to say, say, "i'm sorry." simple. say, "i don't know what to say, but i'm here for you." perfect.
more on words about grief tomorrow.
grace and peace
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