this week i have become fixated on the number of hours i'm sleeping (or not sleeping.) since last sunday i've slept 28 hours. granted an average of 4 hours a night is not abnormal for me but my obsession with it is new. i cannot get it out of my anxious mind. when i think about the 8 hours of recommended sleep, 56 hours a week, and realize that i've gotten 1/2 that i feel panicky. i think that if i were only getting 1/2 the recommended meals per week, or 10.5 meals instead of 21, that i would be concerned for my welfare. i've had some lost time this week and i know it's because i'm sleep- deprived. i'm also still sick and know it's for the same reason.
i go back to the doctor tomorrow and am fearful that i will once again be on the medication merry-go-round. i have no energy at all, the house is a nightmare, i have a serious headache (at least we have food because i would not feel safe driving.) the plan for today is rest (if not sleep), charlie chaplin movies and a stephen king novel (if my headache lets up enough to allow me to read.)
my brother took my niece and nephew to a hockey game last night so i will have to work up the energy to talk to them about it and hear all their halloween preparations. i wonder what i'm going to do to avoid halloween festivities tomorrow? i usually go to a movie but my anxiety doesn't allow that these days.
grace and peace
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