"just as the painter needs light in order to put the finishing touches to his picture, so i need an inner light, which i feel i never have enough of in the autumn." leo tolstoy
yes, the weather is glorious here in nashville today. yes, the air smells clean and crisp. yes, i've spent most of the day out of doors. yet i mourn to my core the end of summer. fall brings with it some things i love, football, hockey (in a good year), the vibrant colors but for me it is the precursor to wet, rainy, dreary, sunless november. the rainy season is almost on us here in middle tennessee and the ground will be soggy, muddy and cold from november-february. it hurts.
this is always the time i vow to spend every sunny minute outside before the sun hides itself from me during the nashville winter. i sometimes wish i could be the person who embraces fall as the beautiful season it is and yet i more closely align to the russian novelist quoted above. a sad state of affairs, i suppose, but this quote is far more positive than the ernest hemingway i almost quoted. that one is a killer!
i've been sick for a couple of days and that has added to my melancholy. the house is still a shambles and though i have managed to run the dishwasher and wash a load of linens i've done precious little. i read my lesson for church tomorrow and walked winston. now i'm going to attempt to eat a bland dinner and find some mindless movie or TV episode to distract me.
thanks to some very generous friends, when my appetite returns, i have money for groceries. though i certainly take for granted this season i've been given i do not take for granted the friends and family God has blessed me with.
grace and peace
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