tonight i'm worried: worried about the bills i can't pay, worried about the plumbing i can't afford to have fixed, worried about the lack of sleep i continue to survive on, worried about the weight i continue to gain, worried about my ability to ignore the calls of bill collectors, worried about the apathy that plagues me most of the time, worried about the number of 2012 highway fatalities displayed on the signs posted around town - 981 at last count.
i don't know how to do anything different than i'm doing. i don't know how to do more. i'm so tired. so stressed. and so DONE! a person can only take so much and my limit was reached at least 2 years ago. things keep limping along and i feel so unprepared to cope.
faced with yet another new year and all i can think is that i'm so glad this one's over. no hope for the new one, no good memories to look back on, just one day after another of SURVIVAL. no belief that the new one will bring relief - just more of the same.
i'm tired of living my life this way but this is all i have right now. it's not enough but it's what i've got.
i'll keep praying for,
grace and peace
No comments:
Post a Comment