for those of us who grew up in the 80s you know what this title means. for the youngsters: this phrase was found on VHS tapes (for our top-loading $600 VCRs) as a reminder to rewind the movie we had driven to the video store to rent, paid for, driven home and watched - assuming it was a good copy - and then were fined for if we returned it the next day without having rewound it.
tonight as i was watching "skyfall," the latest james bond film, i was thinking about this phrase. i had to hurry and watch so i could get it back to the mcdonald's redbox before 9:00 and was anxious about it. i didn't want to go out. i was wishing i hadn't gone out yesterday to get it. i was thinking that pre-flood i would never have missed a james bond movie in the theater. now i can't go to movies and i hardly ever think to rent them.
i was thinking that i wanted to REWIND to yesterday and stay home therefore not having the pressure of today. the "have to go out" stress i now live with. (truth the told, that's always been stress for me it's just much worse now.) then i thought if i could REWIND to the time in which the movie was in theaters then i could have retroactively avoided any stress today. however, if i could REWIND that far, how about just REWINDING to my pre-flood life.
the trouble with that, and i know i repeat myself, is that i have no memory of that time or me in that time. i feel so different than that person - the pre-flood amy.
i know we don't get do-overs and i know that we have to live and play with the cards we are dealt. i'm just not sure how to do that and ever find this elusive "new normal" i keep hearing about.
grace and peace (and don't forget to REWIND!)
No comments:
Post a Comment