this morning i had my first panic attack in several weeks so i'm both overly anxious and overly tired tonight. i'm weary of living with PTSD and severe anxiety. the fact that it can take over my brain in a split second and bring me to my knees is something that is hard to accept. i was diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago (6 months post-flood) though i've probably been living with PTSD since i was 9 or 10 and just didn't know it. it's some better but it continues to hang on tooth and nail.
i did all i know to do to make the panic attack pass and felt some better while walking the pug. i had no choice but to go to work (no doubt that makes me feel better anyway) but it was a struggle. once i have an attack i live in fear of a worse one following closely on its heels. rarely does that happen but with anxiety the constant fear of a panic attack is often much worse than the short attacks themselves.
because i know that God is a gracious God i know that He guided my cousin and her kids to stop by for a visit. she is one of my favorite people alive! she never fails to make me laugh and feel better about the world in general. not to mention, her kids are 2 of the most adorable people in the world! the rest of the day was nerve-wracking and long but i made it. i am grateful that i have a bookstore cat to love on days like today. petting an animal is PROVEN to lower your blood pressure and make you live a longer and healthier life. thank God for orson!
grace and peace
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