i'm a bit worried about my anxiety tonight. about 2 hours ago the bottom of my right heal began to hurt. feels like it's on fire. has gotten more intense as time passes. here's what the last few hours have sounded like in my head:
"ouch! my foot hurts. i mean it really hurts! it's burning. (poke it) ouch! why is it burning? it's on fire. did i step on something? (no) did I burn it? (no) what's happening? (heart racing) (walk to the kitchen for ice) ouch...ouch...ouch...
"what did I do? did i step on broken glass? (there is no broken glass) ouch! (remove sock - poke it!) ouch! haven't left the house today...it's a snow day...couldn't have stepped on anything...haven't even worn shoes!
"maybe i stepped on a jellyfish - that stings! (there is no jellyfish) maybe this is what a jellyfish sting feels like! amy, you haven't left the house today and you haven't stepped on a jellyfish in the middle of your house in landlocked, hundreds of miles from any ocean, nashville, tennessee! but...(no buts!) it's stinging! it's on fire! OUCH! what's happening?
"calm down, crazy! (heart pounding) maybe there is some insulation in my slippers! no, there hasn't been any insulation in this house since 6 months after the flood. well, maybe...(no) and, amy, you wore the slippers yesterday! jellyfish!!!!!!!?????..."
see, that's what anxiety sounds like. i have no idea what's going on with the foot and my pulse is running at about 150 but i've stopped searching the house for broken glass and jellyfish.
grace and peace
No comments:
Post a Comment