it rained all day yesterday. it rained all night. thursday is may 2: 3 years since the flood. i walked this floor yesterday as if i were gonna have to swim my way out. talk of flood watches and warnings abounded - my anxiety skyrocketed.
sleep was hard in coming. i managed an hour or so after the rain finally stopped. today i'm so tired that i cannot see or think straight. i finally made it to the kitchen to cook supper where i unloaded the dishwasher and put a load of towels in the washing machine.
now i'm waiting for time to go to bed. i can't go before 12 or so because i will be up at 3 or 4 otherwise. i remember what i cooked and ate for supper - pasta. i remember most of what i read today (probably only because it's one of the best writers ever - larry mcmurtry.) now i'm having a really hard time remembering if i took a shower or not. i've washed all the towels so i can't judge.
when my anxiety is this intense i lose time and i have a hard time remembering very basic things. i hate the way it feels. i feel crazy and lost. i don't think we're due any more rain for a few days so that should help a little but may 2 looms...
grace and peace
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