i bleed orange

it happened today.  my football team lost and we are not eligible for a bowl game.  that means that my college football season is over...in november!  it's awful.  as little southern girls we are taught to love and/or revere certain things, they are:

1.  our daddies;

2.  Jesus;

3.  our college football colors, mascot and coach;

4.  the make of car our daddies drive; and

5.  robert e. lee.

i grew up knowing that i would drive a ford (and i did--a baby blue mustang convertible) until we, as a family, switched to nissan.  i also grew up wearing orange every saturday from august-new years as those were the months that correspond with the university of tennessee volunteers football schedule.  i have untold amounts of orange clothing (and no one really looks good in orange!)  pre-flood i had at least a half dozen bottles of orange toenail polish (those too are orange for fall.)  i now only have one bottle of orange polish (bought for me by daddy shortly after the flood.)

i was food and familied out after the thanksgiving celebrations so i stayed home to watch the game on-line.  it was horrible.  i will never know if they could have pulled it out (we only lost by 3 points) had i driven across town to watch with the family!  we sports fans are a superstitious lot. 

my maternal grandmother is on her way to the hospital tonight with a high fever.  i'm worried about her and am waiting to hear some news.  my mono continues to hang on.  it was a beautiful day here today and we spent a good deal of time outside--rain and cold are expected tomorrow. 

my anxiety hasn't been too bad today.  at least until the sun went down and i started my hunt for the moon.  it's very cloudy now so there's no hope of seeing it tonight but the last 2 nights it's been relatively clear yet i have been unable to spot it.  i know nothing about the phases of the moon, i pay little to no attention to its location, but i have begun to be paranoid about its conspicuous absence since thursday night.  it was clear and i could see innumerable stars (rare this close to downtown) but the moon was MIA.  i haven't seen it since and am feeling a little uneasy about it. 

there is no limit to the wild, irrational thoughts to which i am prone these days.  i feel as if the earth itself has slipped from its orbit and i am the only one who knows it.

grace and peace