this week has been a constant reminder of the ups and downs we all encounter in these fragile, glorious lives we lead.
monday 2/13 would have been my friend joy's 38th birthday. she and i were inseparable through elementary school and jr. high. we lost touch after high school but i never stopped thinking of her and never stopped loving her. the news of her death hit me hard. her birthday is always a hard day for me. here's a picture of us in the summer of 1987. we were 13.
i think this year it's been harder to think of her in light of whitney houston's death. houston's concert was the first we attended together in 1986 or 87. our friendship was full of music and concerts but whitney's was the first.
tuesday 2/14 valentine's day doesn't affect me much one way or the other (in or out of a relationship) while there are times that i would like to be part of a couple (certainly i think having a husband or boyfriend during and after the flood would have helped in some ways) i am generally a content single person.
my little brother had his post-op doctor's visit on tuesday as well and had the many staples in his back removed. bless his heart. i'm glad that step is over!
wednesday 2/15 my nephew, ben, turned 7! hard to believe how fast the years pass. i attempted all day to find the energy to drive the 35 miles to my brother's to see him but i kept chickening out. i still don't feel well and spent most of the day in a constant struggle to sleep off my week-old headache. i felt a little reluctant, i suppose, because i couldn't afford to buy him a gift. that, and of course, that leaving the house for any reason is always fraught with anxiety and dread.
thursday 2/16 i have to go see ben today because he will go back to his mom's tomorrow until after the weekend. have been saying to myself all morning, "you can do it!" i still don't feel like i can do it. still no gift to give him (not that he cares and not that he needs anything!) and still no motivation to go anywhere. i'll do it because i promised him on saturday that i would see him today. my anxiety level is HIGH!
my little sister's best friend is having her baby today so that's good news! prayers to her and her family.
friday 2/17...remains to be seen.
grace and peace
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