"time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once." woody allen
i have to admit that i no longer spend much time thinking about the passage of time, the meaning of life or the words of "auld lang syne." time is different for me now. just like all things are. the last nearly 20 months (yes, i had to count on my fingers because i can no longer do simple math in my head) have passed almost without notice. the time is lost. though my pre-flood life seems much more distant than that.
i skipped the last family function of the Christmas season today. i feel like maybe i should have gone but i couldn't make myself. i was so anxious. i guess it's good that i decided not to go because i've spent the better part of today trying to gain access to my own car. i went out this morning to get winston's milkbones from the trunk and couldn't open the car. i tried several times then just gave up. hours later, after walking winston, i tried again, same result, the key would not turn. (i don't have power locks and the only way to unlock the car is with the actual key.) on the third and final try i realized my mistake...i was using my house key instead of my car key. now my house key is next to the car key (the big black key with "nissan" stamped right on there!) but i didn't notice. okay, so now i'm in the car but have no memory of why i wanted in the car. as of now, almost 4:00 p.m. i still don't have the milkbones i went to get this morning at 6:30. our evening walk will be soon and i will try one last time. he's not even supposed to have milkbones but they were a gift!!!!!!!!!
see how hard everything is? no wonder i have no idea what day/month/year it is when i can't even open my car! considering i haven't been anywhere today that car has consumed most of my day. i did manage to write a little while listening to my radio station play the top 100 songs of 2011. i only heard 35-1. don't ask me what any of them were...
grace and peace and hope for the new year
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