therapy day

today i instituted a moratorium on "the larry sanders show" after what i'm calling "the chris farley incident" of yesterday. 

i'm in a funk over what has become a desperate lack of sleep and frustrating lack of cooperation from my nurse practitioner and the latest prescribed sleep-aid (in the form of a popular drug that works for everyone but me!)  i've been an insomniac all my life but it's harder to function with it now coupled with the anxiety.  i'm stuck in the vicious cycle of the insomnia making the anxiety worse and the anxiety making the insomnia worse.    

it's a pleasant morning weather-wise, not yet hot and humid, so i've been outside reading, winston and maeve vying for my attention.  came in after i saw the 5th damn pick-up truck filled with building materials.  it's 15 months since the flood and there are still houses in the beginning stages of re-build.  it's too hard to watch.  there are still piles of drywall, kitchen cabinets, bathroom sinks, etc. lining the streets.  most of these are houses that were simply abandoned, foreclosed and auctioned off at a fraction of their pre-flood value.  all of our houses are worth very little now.

friday is what has become known to all as "therapy day."  it's my weekly trauma counseling appointment and the one day i force myself to go out with friends or visit family or attempt some sort of "normal" activity that on other days i avoid like the plague.  oh no, now maybe i have the plague!!!!!  okay, probably not.  such is the mind of the anxious!

grace and peace