today's 99% irrational (and 100% hilarious) fear is that someone snuck into my house yesterday and painted my toenails purple.
see here's what happened...
a friend and i were on our way to a bookstore in her car. we had already made several stops, this being our 4th or 5th exit from the car, when i said "my toenails are painted and i have no memory of doing it!" i was concerned but quickly moved on to feeling flabbergasted that *i*, who love books more than anything, had NO interest in browsing and just followed her to look at books for her kids. we usually split up and i spend too much time looking in the "history," "literature" and "current events/politics" sections. instead i found myself bypassing all those to look at books on llamas and lions (my personal favorite) and sticking closely to her side.
after coffee we parted ways. as i looked down to unlock my car door there were those purple toenails again, mocking me! i tried and tried to remember painting them. other than the knowledge that the polish was, in fact, mine, i could not claim ownership of the decision to paint them, pick the color or do the deed itself.
this morning i wondered for the first time if it weren't someone else who painted them (though even to me that seems unlikely) or if maybe i am sleepwalking, which happens to be one of the side effects of the ineffective sleeping pill.
i've spent most of today on my brother's couch watching movies and listening to music while he, my niece and nephew got up to speed on the new "angry birds" on my iPad. the rest of the day i've spent worried about these purple toenails! things like the following conversation i had with myself...
CRAZY AMY: "whoever painted these did a nice job."
SANE AMY: "snap out of it, amy, YOU painted them!"
CA: "sure, but you know my right hand visibly shakes now and they're so perfect! I can't have done it!
SA: "maybe you were sleepwalking, your eyes would have been opened but maybe you don't shake in your sleep"
CA: "sleep? WHAT SLEEP?"
SA: "sleep? WHAT SLEEP?!"
yes, my friends, THIS is a typical day.
grace and peace and purple toenails
i like purple. but i didn't paint your toenails. i'm sure you painted your toenails but i'm concerned as well, however, about the lack of book browsing...is it possible you own all the WWII books? ;) I LOVE YOU. and your purple toenails.
ReplyDeleteHey! My toenails are purple as well. Did you come up here and paint mine too???? No. You did not. I remember getting a pedicure. But I must admire your choice of the color purple - even though you don't remember choosing it. And did you see the book, "Is Your Mama a Llama?" That is my favorite llama book (as well as the only llama book I could name - though I suppose there are books about the Dali Lama.)
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