enough's enough!

for a flood victim this much rain is scary.  it's not supposed to be rainy like this in august.  january, yes, but not august.  my anxious mind and heart can't take much more.  the sun peaked out for a few minutes today but it wasn't enough.

 

the flooding is supposed to continue in the area and, though i don't believe i am in any danger, it means that i can't turn on the TV (the one channel that i have) and i can't escape the panic that i feel on a nearly-continuous basis. 

 

the last few days have taken a toll and i feel less like myself than ever.  that's saying something.  it causes me to believe that i will never get better, never put this behind me, never NOT be a victim.  i'm so tired. 

 

i hear the rain on the skylight as i type this and feel my heart racing to match the cacophony.  it hurts. 

 

i had errands to run today before work and i have more tomorrow.  i think i'll try to get in bed early and pray for sleep or at least rest.

 

grace and peace 

83...77...50...

no, this is not a math problem where i'm looking for the next number in the sequence; these are the high temperatures for the last 3 days in nashville.  as a person who thinks that the temperature should never be below 60 (for a low) i hate days/weeks like this.  if i weren't already sick to begin with i certainly would be now! 

50 degree days conjure up winter and all that i despise about it:  cold, pervasive darkness (the sun never shines here novemeber-february), snow (or rather frigid rain in this part of the country), cold, the holidays, months on end of mushy, soggy ground, the continuous fight to get winston to venture outside and the nerve-racking mewling from meave as she adjusts to only minutes outside (she would like to spend one out of every 10 outside expecting me to let her in/out at least 12 times every hour), cold, coats, gloves (i actually enjoy wearing scarves), etc...

i'm in a foul mood over it and am feeling very anxious.  i suppose i feel somewhat grateful that i am both unemployed and sick, therefore in no need to get out, as rain is coming and that will only make me worse.  i keep reminding myself that it will be in the 70s again by weeks end though that does little to comfort me today. 

happy 40th birthday to my big brother today!  i love you!

grace and peace