today was the "meeting of creditors" for my bankruptcy. it took about 30 seconds. i did have to watch a 12 minute video, answer about 6 "yes" or "no" questions and pay $7.00 for parking. i only have a couple of creditors and no one expects to have a creditor show up. none of mine did. it's simple, really.
i have no embarrassment. i only wish i had done it sooner. i wish i knew the statistics (there really aren't any) about the number of natural disaster victims who file bankruptcy. there appears to always be a spike in areas affected by disaster but because the filings take place over such a long period of time it's hard to quantify. it took me more than 6 years.
i bought the house in 2005. in 2010 i had a good job, i didn't make a lot of money but i made enough. the flood came and i lost it all: job, car, house and everything in it. i got some FEMA money but it just scratched the surface. i did not live in flood zone so i had no flood insurance. home owner's insurance not only denied a claim but cancelled my policy.
i spent upwards of $65,000 (most of which was borrowed) to rebuild a house i despised. i had nowhere else to go so i did what i had to do. i got a lot of help from family, church and friends but it was just a drop in the bucket.
i worked 12-16 hours a day for 5 months to rebuild. i was diagnosed with PTSD and suffered from debilitating agoraphobia (i was terrified to leave the very house that i hated.) something that still rears it's ugly head more often that i like to talk about. i was out of work for more than 2 years.
when i went back to work i made less than half my pre-flood salary. now, i work 3 jobs and make less still. for the last 4 years i have been spending more than 50% of my income on the mortgage. when daddy died i decided to quit. i filed bankruptcy shortly thereafter and left that house behind.
i'm blessed enough to have access to a family home that was sitting empty afer it was left to my mother by her aunt. i live here now and while it's hard to get over the feeling that i live in somebody else's house it's far and away an improvement. i live far away from all 3 jobs so i spend a lot of time in the car and a lot of money on gas but, right now, it's worth it.
i still have school loans that i will owe the rest of my natural life (those, of course, aren't dischargeable.) other than that i have a clean slate. the mortgage company will apparently give the option to sign over the deed to avoid a foreclosure. i will take them up on it. i can't wait for the day i can honestly say that i no longer "own" that awful house. for the time being it's still mine but i'm under no obligation to pay anything. i've officially "surrendered" the property.
i wish daddy were here to talk to about this.
grace and peace
