Wednesday, March 20, 2013

can't win for losing

feeling pretty put-upon this morning.  almost got hit by a grandmother, on her cellphone, with her 2 granddaughters in the back seat.  i was coming to work through the gulch, where the roads are curvy and unpredictable, and while she was sitting still in the left lane at 12th and division i was approaching the light in the right lane just as it turned green.  she floored it and immediately got into the right lane...my lane.  i had to slam on the brakes and somehow narrowly escape jumping the curb and smashing into a pole.  i flashed my lights at her and honked my horn.  she never so much as looked up.  i sped up and passed her with my heart pounding and panic setting in.  i got to work before my anxiety went through the roof.  

now i'm here and panicking!

i was already upset by 2 much smaller occurrences:  yesterday i stopped at CVS (one of my 2 preapproved "safe" places) and bought 2 diet cokes which were supposed to be on sale for 2 for $3 but i checked the receipt after i got to work and saw that i was charged full price.  i can't stop thinking about it.  i'm mad.  
then this morning as i getting my lunch together i noticed, in the bag of individually wrapped trail mix that i eat as a snack, that one of the 12 bags was empty.  EMPTY!  when money is as tight as it is i can't have a missed snack and paying full price for a diet coke i should have gotten free.

at least i'm here now and safe.  i can stand to miss a snack and the $1.50.  it's just the principle of the thing...

grace and peace  

Monday, March 4, 2013

versa v. mustang

i should write more, i know.  i just can't seem to get it together.  and anyway it seems that as soon as i get one bill paid another gets behind so i either have phones but no food or electricity and no internet, etc. 
 
i got into a fight with 4 teenage boys in a mustang on the way home tonight and realized i was acting like a kid myself--in my tiny nissan.  why did it matter to me that the driver was showing off?while he was driving irresponsibly i was never in any real danger but i reacted as if i were.  i drove way too fast to get around him, and around him again, and finally got off at my exit (with him in my rearview mirror.)
 
i had a good day at work but my anxiety is ever-present.  i just kept waiting to leave and then realized that i like it better there than i do here.  ugh!  sleep won't come but i'm determined to be in bed early tonight and pray with all my might that i get a good nights sleep.  i could sure use one.
 
be patient with me and i will get back to writing on a regular basis soon...i hope.
 
grace and peace