Friday, January 30, 2015

upon awakening: week 14

friday 1/23:  "rudolph the red-nosed reindeer" i know, i hate Christmas!;
saturday 1/24:  "dearly departed" shakey graves with esme patterson;
sunday 1/25:  "tiny dancer" elton john;
monday 1/26:  "my way" frank sinatra;
tuesday 1/27:  "i and love and you" the avett brothers;
wednesday 1/28:  "tuesday's gone" lynyrd skynyrd;
thursday 1/29:  "ain't that a shame" fats domino.
 
grace and peace

Saturday, January 24, 2015

upon awakening: week 13

friday 1/16:  "get back" the beatles;
saturday 1/17-thursday 1/23:  nothing!
 
the story is that my sleep medications were late getting to my psychiatrists office so i was without them for more than a week.  i've been an insomniac my whole life but in the last couple of years i've been taking a certain sleep medication (the strongest on the market, they tell me) and, while i don't sleep enough while taking it, i sleep more with it than without.  these days i don't sleep at all without it.  in the last 14 days i've slept about 25 hours. 
 
i'm exhausted.  i picked up the meds on wednesday but i'm so sleep deprived that i ache all over.  so sore that i can't even wear my rings.  so tired that i don't remember anything that's happened in the last few days.  
 
pray for sleep for me.
 
grace and peace 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

upon awakening: week 12

friday 1/9:  "outfit" drive-by truckers;
saturday 1/10:  "that wasn't me" brandi carlile;
sunday 1/11:  "coping mechanism" shovels and rope;
monday 1/12:  "alone in my home" jack white;
tuesday 1/13:  "jesus, etc." wilco;
wednesday 1/14:  "superstition" stevie wonder;
thursady 1/15:  "love rescue me" U2.
 
grace and peace
 


Thursday, January 8, 2015

upon awakening: week 11

friday 1/2:  "the river" joni mitchell;
saturday 1/3:  "uneasy rider" charlie daniels
sunday 1/4:  "papa was a rolling stone" the temptations;
monday 1/5:  "that's right, you're not from texas" lyle lovett;
tuesday 1/6:  "lay down sally" eric clapton;
wednesday 1/7: "ring of fire" johnny cash;
thursday 1/8:  "golden years" david bowie.
 
grace and peace

Sunday, January 4, 2015

if wishes were horses, beggars would ride

i wish i'd slept more than 3 hours last night;
i wish i'd had the energy and ability to go to church this morning;
i wish i had the energy for a long walk;
i wish this house weren't such a wreck;
i wish i had the energy and motivation to actually clean said house;
i wish i didn't have to do the dishes before i can cook supper tonight;
i wish someone else would cook supper tonight;
i wish i would force myself to write;
i wish i could stare at the wall all day and do nothing;
in lieu of that:
i wish i could read my book and listen to records all day.
 
you catch my drift.
 
i don't want to do anything responsible and hygienic.  i just want to be a slug and sit in this filth. 
 
anxiety is HIGH and i hurt all over.  i'll just have to make a list and tackle one. small. thing. at. a. time.  i can't bear the house the way it is one more day.  i don't know about y'all but if weren't for music i would never be able to clean anything!
 
grace and peace

Friday, January 2, 2015

upon awakening: week 10

friday 12/26:  "sylvia plath" ryan adams;
saturday 12/27:  "lanterns" birds of tokyo;
sunday 12/28:  "hallelujah" jeff buckley;
monday 12/29:  "want and able" jack white;
tuesday 12/30:  "trouble" ray lamontagne;
wednesday 12/31:  "then came the morning" the lone bellow;
thursday 1/1:  "riptide" vance joy.
 
grace and peace