today has been full of anxiety because of a pair of slippers. let me explain: i went to cvs this morning before work to buy a toothbrush and a couple of other necessities when i made an impulse purchase of a pair of slippers. i've been needing slippers since my old ones bought the farm after years of loyal service. they were on sale at $5.99 from $9.99. i labored over it but i ultimately decided that walking the pug in my socks wasn't going to be okay in a couple of weeks so i put them in my buggy and paid for them all the while suffering heart palpitations and shallow breath.
all day long i kept thinking about returning them because i can't afford $5.99 on a luxury item like slippers. i shed tears over having to let them go but i was ready to take them back because i just couldn't justify the expense. i thought about how different my life is from most people i know. i thought about what it's like to live on a few hundred dollars a month and how far i've learned to stretch a dollar.
when i got home i put them on and decided to take them back. then i decided to keep them. then i walked the pug and now i have to keep them. they are comfortable and warm and worth $5.99 but i still feel crazy over them.
life with anxiety is hard. life for people who are poor is hard. life is hard. be kind.
grace and peace