if wishes were horses, beggars would ride

i wish i'd slept more than 3 hours last night;

i wish i'd had the energy and ability to go to church this morning;

i wish i had the energy for a long walk;

i wish this house weren't such a wreck;

i wish i had the energy and motivation to actually clean said house;

i wish i didn't have to do the dishes before i can cook supper tonight;

i wish someone else would cook supper tonight;

i wish i would force myself to write;

i wish i could stare at the wall all day and do nothing;

in lieu of that:

i wish i could read my book and listen to records all day.

 

you catch my drift.

 

i don't want to do anything responsible and hygienic.  i just want to be a slug and sit in this filth. 

 

anxiety is HIGH and i hurt all over.  i'll just have to make a list and tackle one. small. thing. at. a. time.  i can't bear the house the way it is one more day.  i don't know about y'all but if weren't for music i would never be able to clean anything!

 

grace and peace