today: could only leave the house to walk winston even though i desperately needed to go out to the bank. i did manage to make one of the dreaded phone calls that i've needed to make for weeks re: my school loan. couldn't get it deferred but i did get the payment reduced. not that it really matters - i can't pay it.
i'm so tired of constantly feeling the effects of the flood. not just once in a while - but ALL THE TIME. it still rules my life. the unfinished house, the unpaid bills, the stress, the anxiety, the feeling of being in danger 24 hours a day, the inability to do the little things, the constant and overwhelming FEAR.
i remain exhausted and i continue to struggle with debilitating headaches (one of the reasons i couldn't go out today, i was afraid to drive with my head hurting this bad.) i have to go out tomorrow for my therapy appointment and the promised trip to my brother's for the tennessee football game. here's hoping i can make it.
i keep being reassured that my only mistake in how i'm coping with the flood is the misperception that 2 years is enough time to recover from having everything ripped away in a matter of minutes. it seems like a ridiculously LONG time but i'm assured that i lost a LIFETIME and that 2 years is only the beginning. GREAT!
grace and peace
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