i've begun to wonder if there will come a point when my ability to feel loss will cease to exist. can i shut down any more than i already have? i've lived a life of numbness - will it always be this way?
in 3 years i've lost a job, a house, a car, all my belongings, a dog, 2 cats, an aunt, a grandfather, a great-aunt, my safety, my sanity, my will, my independence, my security, my figure, my new man, most of my friends, my energy, my interests, myself.
the losses keep coming and i keep going. i don't want to, i don't want to feel the loss and the pain, but there is no alternative. i have to keep going. i do have a job i love but it's not enough money to live. i have 2 beloved pets left and i continue to spoil them as much as i can.
i'm so tired of the way things are but it's the way things are.
grace and peace
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