5 days and counting

starting to feel like i might live through this sinus infection.  after five days, 2 boxes of kleenex, a whole bottle of theraflu and dozens upon dozens of halls cough drops, i feel a little more lively today.  granted all i've done is nap and read.  i churched at home for the second week in a row.  last week i blamed a sore throat but it was mostly that the lesson was to coincide with the chapter on "growing through grief and loss"  in the current book we are reading.  i didn't feel like i could make it through that while physically present.  i have the best church family in the world and would have been comforted by those around me if i had "lost it" during service.  while i wouldn't have been embarrassed to cry, i was genuinely fearful that if the tears did come they would never stop.  i read the chapter, did the lesson in the workbook and watched the service on-line (then met a friend for a walk in the park.)

today i stayed home so as not to offend with menthol seeping out of my pores and used kleenex peeking out of every pocket.  this lesson wasn't as emotionally taxing for me, basically  slowing down and "being quiet before God" in this over-scheduled world of ours.  for those of you who know me, you know this is not something i struggle with.  i can sit in silence without something to do for hours, days, weeks at a time and be fine.  i was blown away by a statistic in the book stating that the average person is only comfortable with silence for 15 seconds.  that's unbelievable to me!  all of that is not to say that i don't need to work on filling my time with feeling the presence of God.  i read a lot of books, write a good deal, listen to a lot of music and stare at the walls an awful lot and i need to spend more time with Him.

the only day i've been out this week was tuesday.  i spent the day with my brother and his kids who were on fall break (i almost typed "spring break" because my internal calendar is off after all this time of not working - there is no way i can fathom it being october of 2011!)  the kids biked while my brother and i walked the 4 1/2 mile trail.  my allergies really kicked in the next day and here i am with another week gone and little to no memory of it.  (much like the last year and a half.)  i have spent a good deal of time dreaming of the bike i would like to buy so i can ride with the kids some.  my brother and i enjoyed walking and talking behind the kids as they rode but we also both longed to be riding!

grace and peace