i spent the day with the family - the visit that almost didn't happen. the headache that i woke up with on friday hung on for days...and days. finally able to get out today but i came home tired and jumpy. i once again discovered, almost too late, that i have a dreaded doctor's appointment tomorrow...the nurse practitioner that prescribes my medications. it takes no more than 15 minutes and involves no more than a dozen questions...the same questions that have been asked of me for the last year and that i have never failed to answer in the same uninspired, anxious tone.
Q: "how are you feeling right now?"
A: "anxious."
Q: "how is your sleep?"
A: "not good."
Q: "how's the job search?"
A: "worse."
Q: "how's the appetite?"
A: "elevated, i'm starving right now! look at me i'm a house!"
Q: "these medications all cause weight gain."
A: "no kidding!"
i've been resisting picking up the phone and leaving a message that i need to reschedule. i see them for free so it's not like they would be losing any money if i don't show up but i keep telling myself to go and get it over with because i won't want to do it in a weeks time either. i don't even remember a time when leaving the house was easy. so many things are difficult now that it's a wonder i ever manage to show up somewhere. i'll try in the morning.
i am thankful for all of the soldiers who have served, past and present, and those who gave their lives so that we might have our freedoms (even those that allow me to sit and complain and worry about if i will be able to drive the 12 miles to the doctor tomorrow!) God bless all our heroes!
grace and peace
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