laughter is the best medicine

"dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which i guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."  deep thoughts by jack handey

i spent today at my brother's house with the family.  i laughed hard, more than once, at my hilarious niece and nephew.  those kids are too funny.  they are quirky and smart, sarcastic and lovely.  they love me no matter what; no matter how misanthropic and introverted i can be.  i laugh so rarely now that it's a shock to my system.  it feels unnatural even as it's happening.  what a shame!  i hope that one day laughter will be a normal part of my life again and not just an anomaly.  

we watched hours of french open tennis until we turned it to stanley cup hockey.  i learned of many things that i've missed out on because of my lack of TV:  a new 'batman,' a new 'men in black,' a new 'spiderman?'  i had no idea.  just another reminder of how disconnected i am from the world around me.  

my niece made it clear that she would not be spending any time with me over the summer.  her reasoning:  no TV, no meat (i'm a vegetarian) and no sweets.  not for her, she said; i'm boring and weird.  she can't imagine how hard these last 2 years have been and the toll that they've taken.  i hope she never knows.

in the house full of activity, talk, TV, laughing, singing, yelling and fighting i, at times, felt very nervous and overwhelmed.  i don't realize the level of quiet to which i have become accustomed.  i wouldn't trade these days with them for anything though.  when i have a job and am able to see them less i will ache for these days of their childhood spent basking in the light and ease of summer.

this one's for you mackenzie and ben.  i love you!

grace and peace