i feel like i should write something tonight but i have no idea what to say. i'm overwhelmed. that's all i feel...overwhelmed by everything: life, the bookstore, upcoming choices, the past, my present, the future, grief, hard facts that have to be faced, going through life with a mental illness, looking at everything through the lens of trama and loss.
how would one not feel overwhelmed?
i am, by no means, alone in this. most of these things are faced by an awful lot of people on this green and blue planet hurtling through space. but one thing i really struggle with is that people offer me very little comfort. i'm not a people person. i want a deserted island and the comforts of life but NO people. knowing i'm not alone is, most often, a very cold comfort to me. i wish i were alone...most of the time.
i don't wish i were different in this but i feel like maybe it would be easier at times. community and all that. i know that's what God created us for; it's one of the things i can't wait to ask him about on the new earth. here on this earth i struggle with it so very much.
i'm gonna try to get a little extra rest tonight so i'm headed to bed early (at just after 11:00 - it's very early for me).
grace and peace and rest
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