832-1266

ME!

 

i'm exhausted.  i had a severe panic attack tonight when i learned that daddy decided to let go to of his landline.  he lives in the house he grew up in, the house he moved into at age 8 or 9 in 1956, my grandparents' house.  the only house in which i've ever truly felt safe,  the first phone number i learned, and dialed, is no more.  

 

he still lives there and that's more important but something about knowing that number will belong to someone else makes me feel awfully empty inside.  i have such an attachment to the house and that bloody number!  i was surprised when he told me because he is the sentimental type and i didn't think he would never give up that number.  i didn't panic on the phone with him but hung up and burst into tears.  i will call him tomorrow and talk more about it but tonight i'm just worn out.  

 

would this always be hard?  i'm sure, but with this much anxiety and the constant feeling of being an open wound it's sure hurting a bunch tonight.

 

grace and peace and nostalgia