haven't felt like writing much lately but here i am.
i've started working full-time so i'm adjusting to that while also trying to cope with the end of winter. we've finally had some 70 degree days but winter has hung on much longer than i had hoped.
living with insomnia and PTSD is tiring enough without the gray skies and cold weather. i'm looking forward to the days i can get to the track after work and breathe in the fresh air. i'm so out of shape but i do look forward to the exercise, no matter how slow and laborious it may be.
i'm sure there was a time when things weren't so hard in my life but i honestly don't remember those days. as i approach the 5 year mark (may 2) of the flood i can't help but think of all the days, weeks, months, years that i have all but lost. if feels a lot like my childhood - lost years that aren't worth remembering. ugh!
as a Christian i believe that hard times are a part of life and that we will all face them but there is a part of me that continues to cry out with the question, "how much?" i would love to have something be easy for once. for days not to just be survived but actually lived. not sure i would know how to react to such ease.
grace and peace.
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