chip on my shoulder

can't get something i heard today out of my head.  this is likely to be a diatribe many of you won't want to hear but it's just something i have to work out.  what she said while speaking of her childhood/early adulthood:

 

"i didn't know people had bad lives."  

 

what i heard: 

 

"i have no idea what the real world is like and your experience is foreign and the exception to the rule."

 

i just can't believe it when i hear something like this!  really?  no idea that people hurt, that kids are neglected and hungry and abused?  no idea that not everyone has the same life you have?  no idea that not everyone is loved and adored?  wow.  that must be nice.

 

i realize, because of my experience, and probably because of my innate personality, that i am a pessimist.  i don't believe the world is basically good; i don't believe that people are basically good.  i believe THAT is the exception to the rule.  i believe we are born into a fallen, sinful world and being good is a choice and not everyone chooses it.  not everyone who has children wants them.  not everyone who has works hard gets blessed with a big, comfortable house in the suburbs.

 

some of us are born in to families with mental illness and neglect and poverty and anger and grief and fear and all those hard, bad things.  i try really hard not to let the way i grew up dictate the way i live and for the most part i think i do a pretty good job.  however, there is no denying the fact that what i experienced, not just in my house as a child, but the trauma of the flood, affect who i am.  i most likely will always be distrustful of people and be afraid of losing the few important things in my life. 

 

for whatever reason when i hear people say the things like i heard today it hits me all over again that we are all so different.  we absolutely do not have the same experiences, the same advantages, the same backgrounds, etc.  for all my troubled childhood it was so much better than a lot of people and so much worse than others.  i just wish we could all, for the love of pete, take into account that some, if not all, of us are damaged in some way.  each of us fights a battle, big or small.  let's all be kind to each other.  

 

remember, not everyone came from where you came from.

 

grace and peace and understanding