sign o' the times

today, 16+ months since the flood, is community clean-up day.  the youth group from a generous local church, about a mile from my subdivision, is volunteering their time today to help clear, load and haul away any debris still left laying around.  since i was blessed with prior help from family and friends (not to mention all the wonderful volunteers) my back yard had been clear for some time now of my ruined belongings and various random things that washed over my 6-foot privacy fence.  things like a lone tennis shoe, a soccer ball, a lawn chair and numerous tennis ball (we do not have tennis courts but we have lots of dogs!)

when i got the notice earlier this week i had simultaneous conflicting thoughts:  "thank God for this church, they've already done SO much!" and "dammit, will this NEVER end!?"  i vowed to stay in and avoid the whole melee.  the thing is, i have this demanding, spoiled pug who has to go for walks (and for whom i had to face a store today because somehow he ran out of food without my noticing.) we got 1/2 a block from the house and turned the first corner; i saw trucks, trailers, trash, high school and college kids breaking for lunch, eating hot dogs and drinking gatorade.  i felt panic rise immediately.  it all came back.  the weeks that all my stuff sat in a pile in my front yard:  wet, moldy, smelly.  day after day that i pulled in to my driveway and noticed one more pair of shoes, one more book, one more piece of furniture that had been ruined in the course of minutes. 

winston and i turned around so fast that i got dizzy.  i hightailed it home so fast anyone watching would think i was running from the devil himself.  it's the same reaction i have at the mere mention of the word "flood" or any news footage.  i'm grateful that i don't have a TV right now with the state of new england and new york.  don't look too hard in the above picture for my TVs they were in another pile on the other side of the driveway (anything with a cord had to be taken to a different place than regular trash, and large home appliances to yet another place.)  most of this was picked up by the city but the small appliances: TVs, computers, blenders, etc. had to be taken to the city recycling drop-off.  those things sat in the yard for more than a month.  i say all this to give you some idea of the upheaval and the surrealism of seeing all this strewn across yards of the hundreds of homes in my neighborhood for months on end.  16 months and counting...

like i said, i had to go out today for dog food.  i went well out of my way to a small organic food store where i picked up the dog food, bananas and tomatoes that i needed so i could avoid a larger-and therefore scarier-place.  i spoke two words:  "paper" and "debit" and did not make eye contact with the checker.  it was awful.  just awful.

i think the animals and i are in until dark when i can be sure that all the workers will be gone.  what a chore it is to do anything.  

grace and peace