can i borrow a stamp?

i have spent a lot of today bemoaning the fact that i can no longer buy stamps at my bank's ATM.  okay, it's been 15 years since that was a reality but every time i buy stamps i remember how easy and convenient is was to get a book of stamps without having to brave a post office or a kroger (the only 2 places i know to buy stamps.)  today it has dominated my thoughts as i awoke this morning in the midst of a terrible realization that i don't have stamps, that i need stamps and that i can go to neither of the above-mentioned places.  a panic attack of epic proportion set in.  this was at 5:00 a.m., exactly 4 hours and 25 minutes after i went to sleep. 

by 8:30 i was pacing the floors with a 3-hour thomas jefferson documentary already watched, breakfast already consumed and winston already walked.  this day has been a struggle.  it's possible that i've showered twice, both before and after a 30-minute nap around noon (i have no clear recollection but the tub was suspiciously wet and my towel equally damp.) 

i finally removed the mysterious purple toenail polish but immediately worried that i had made a mistake.  my reasoning being that if i chose that particular color and indeed painted them while sleepwalking then could it be smart to remove it while awake?  then i rebuked myself for being "unreasonable." :)  i've made it 2 weeks into the college football season without orange toenails and am now concerned that painting them mid-week before saturdays' UT/florida game is playing fast and loose with our 2-0 record. (this insanity has nothing to do with my anxiety - it's just a sports fan's superstition. go vols!)

other than my momentary fear that i had contracted both a blood clot and lyme disease on sunday while watching the ladies U.S. Open final when i learned that these are the afflictions that most recently side-lined finalists serena williams and sam stosur respectively, i was at my "normal" anxiety level for most of sunday and monday after a horrible saturday (and yes, i watched part 4 of "lonesome dove.")  sunday brought with it a lot of emotion which i addressed in that days' post.  i attended church in the morning but did not make it back to sunday nights special 9/11 service.  i wanted badly to go but i felt too tired to drive and be safe (these meds really take it out of me!) 

grace and peace