two for two

two nights in a row i've had sweet friends take me to two of my favorite places in town for dinner.  it's always heartening to be reminded of those who are remembering me and reaching out to me in this crazy, uncertain time.  i was nervous all day (both days) about leaving the house, about getting to the restaurant first and not being able to go in by myself, about being too incoherent or distracted to have a conversation, about not enjoying myself, about not being able to give anything back to my friends. 

i survived both parking lots, both restaurants, both menus, both visits.  i'm exhausted and i had to take an extra anti-anxiety pill each day but i made myself go and i'm grateful i did.  the wonderful, gracious truth is that they don't want anything from me, they just want to know that i am still putting one foot in front of the other.

my grandmother moved back to the rehab center today and tomorrow i start sitting with her for a while each day.  i'm afraid that i've had too much coffee today (i tend to "treat" myself to coffee for having completed tasks:  leaving the house, buying stamps, surviving a trek outside of the house, etc.) and now i'm hopped up on the caffeine, though after 2 days of non-stop anxiety and near-panic i actually feel tired tonight.  maybe i'll sleep.

college football starts this weekend and i, once more, face a season with no television.  live sporting events are really the only thing that i miss.  GO VOLS! 

grace and peace and rocky top