rules of color coordination

i remain obsessed with my toenails (or at least with toenail related issues.)  i have been sure for several days now that i have mistaken my nail polish remover with my mouthwash.  there is no reason to believe this save that both items are blue and both reside under my bathroom sink.  until i removed the mysterious purple polish the two bottles did not sit side by side.  that night when i put away the mouthwash i did a doubletake.  there they were, 2 blue bottles, seemingly harmless but signalling my premature demise.  "did i just use the mouthwash or the polish remover?!?!" i knew very well i had used the mouthwash--i don't know much these days but i do know the difference in crest mouthwash and nourishing polish remover!--but i continued to hear this refrain over and over:  "mouthwash or polish remover?, mouthwash/remover, MOUTHWASH/REMOVER?!"  i was inconsolable.  what finally made me laugh was the realization that even if i HAD used the polish remover it wouldn't have mattered because i SPIT IT OUT!  that said, i continue to think about it.  and think about it.  and...

i went to my brother's yesterday for a visit and stayed longer than i had planned.  it's hard to tear myself away from his darling kids!  i looked at the clock at 7:30 and fought against the anxiety i felt at driving the 35 miles in the dark.  i have never been a nervous driver, and i'm not one now, but with the anxiety, the sleep deprivation and this medicine cocktail i get distracted and sometimes disoriented.  until the last 6 months i would have bragged about never having gotten lost in my life, now i get lost to and from this house on a weekly basis.  the driving itself doesn't scare me but i worry about my safety and that of the other drivers.  i mentioned this to my brother and he said, "you, who used to drive back and forth to dallas (where i used to live) in the middle of the night with only two stops?"  yes, i don't feel like that person anymore.  i'm not that person now.  maybe one day it (i) will come back, but that fearless self is not there now.  i made it home fine, of course, which was a big improvement since i had gotten lost on the way there.  

i had a nice dinner out with a friend tonight, though i felt anxious at the restaurant when i noticed that the menus were new, not the food offerings, just the menus themselves.  it was disorienting and made me feel uneasy.  other than the drive there when i was filled with anger (rage?) at all the single-passenger cars in the HOV lane, it was a pleasant night.  i am a rule-breaker by nature but not a law-breaker and it amazes me that there are so many people who choose to ignore this very well-meaning and progressive law.  it bothered me more than normal today.  even my color coordinated converse tennis shoes and vera bradley purse couldn't keep the anxiety at bay. 

and, yes, i have moved the offending blue bottle of nail polish remover back to its previous spot (as far from the mouthwash as my post-flood vanity allows.)

grace and peace