consequences

got some disturbing news this weekend that i can't stop mulling over:  my neighbor directly across the street sold his house (if indeed it closes this week) for, wait for it..., $25,000 LESS than it appraised for.  this isn't surprising but somehow just hearing that number really got to me.  i've guessed that these houses won't sell for their pre-flood worth for five or more years but what if it's longer?  when i think of all the of improvements i made and all the money i shelled out to make it livable/sellable i feel like perhaps it wasn't worth it.  i can't get out and yet i don't know how to make peace with being here.  i hate this house and i hate that damn river!

if i haven't mentioned it before i think it's worth mentioning now:  someone is sneaking in here and leaving rubberbands of various sizes laying around.  it's about to send me over the edge!  i finally had to break down and ask my dad and brother since they have keys-they both deny doing it.  i want to believe them and of course i know they aren't doing it but i cannot explain how these rubberbands are multiplying.  i've talked to both maeve and winston about it and while i wouldn't put it past the cat to try and drive me crazy i know the fat, lazy pug isn't wasting his precious reserve of energy on the likes of a trick like that.  i've turned the house upside down looking for a stash of rubberbands that the cat may have gotten into but the likes of which doesn't exist.  i now look for rubberbands when i enter a room like i usually look for spiders upon flipping a light switch.  

anxiety is for the birds, i'm safe nowhere and from nothing.  rubberbands for cryin' out loud!