i'm angry today, very angry. i have begun to feel extremely angry at the new residents in the neighborhood; those who did not live through the flood. yes, they have bought homes in a flood zone, but they have new, updated, completed homes with no traumatic memories and no clue what the rest of us are still going through. those of us recovering are living in the past and can see through our jaded, bloodshot eyes the world move on around us while we remain static. it's as if our new neighbors are surrounded by force fields of seeming ease and comfort while we wrestle with ongoing construction, endless paperwork and the constant nervousness we feel in our own houses.
tonight after i walked winston in my pajamas (with post-nap-not really a nap since i didn't sleep-don king hair) i stood talking to my next door neighbor for a few minutes. we talked about the state of our houses, the foreclosure of the family across the street and the general anxiety of us all as we attempt to adjust to being people we don't want to be.
the increased sleep i got last week as the result of my new medication has given way to restless, uncomfortable attempts this week. my anxiety is up and my anger is off the charts. it's supposed to rain tomorrow and i will try to "catch up" on sleep and get in to my new book (i made myself go out and pick up stephen king's new one today: "11/22/63".) i was out of the house not more than 75 minutes but it was exhausting and terrifying. the bookstore (yes, my friends, we still have actual bookstores for the time being!) could have been on fire and stephen king himself could have checked me out and i wouldn't have noticed. i have to get crazy "into the zone" before i can go anywhere by myself, so much so that i am unable to interact or remember any of it afterward.
i do want to congratulate my best friend today for being cast as "kate" (the lead!) in shakespeare's "the taming of the shrew." and congrats also to another dear friend for having her blog the learning hypothesis featured by a like-minded blogger and parent seeking to educate their kids (and all of us) through a hands-on, interactive, challenging curriculum. i'm so proud of you both!
grace and peace (of which i am in particular need)
awwww....THANKS, man. i'm still so excited!
ReplyDeleteregarding the new residents, at least you know that people ARE buying in the flooded areas. that bodes well for you when you decide to sell. the more time that passes, the easier it will be for you to sell.
i LOOOOOOOOVE YOU!